When Food Attacks It's Scary
by Shi-Chan Meows
Summary: Uh oh... the guys have made breakfast so the girls KNOW something's up... What fatal concoction could they have created?!?! ***PLZ R&R***


"When Food Attacks... It's Scary"  
  
By: Shi-chan  
  
Rating: PG  
  
Warnings: Nothing really  
  
Disclaimer: I own only this plot so go eat whipped cream!!!!!!!  
  
Author's Corner!!  
  
Shi-chan: Hello! I was bored the other day in history class, and stumbled upon this interesting little idea. ^^ I hope you guys like!  
  
Nahga: So I'm in it? Then it'll HAVE to be wicked-cool! Ohohohoho!  
  
Lina: Ego-maniac...  
  
Nahga: No, I am Nahga the White Serpent, your foremost strongest and beautiful rival!!  
  
Lina: No, you're Nahga, my overly-busty sidekick...  
  
Shi-chan: ^^;;;  
  
Nahga and Lina: *kill each other*  
  
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Part One: Witch Apple Pie  
  
Selphiel had gone back to her hometown to help make the ruins back into a wondrous kingdom. Filia was... somewhere. All enemies had been vanquished, and the rest of the Slayers, Lina, Amelia, Zelgadiss, Gourry, Nahga, and Xelloss, had all moved in together.  
  
When the three female sorceresses came downstairs for breakfast in the morning, they were overcome by shock. The guys had actually gotten up earlier than them, and not only that, but made breakfast as well!! They automatically knew something was wrong, considering Gourry's IQ, Zelgadiss' hate for cooking, and Xelloss' bad cooking. There had to be some sort of catch...  
  
"Do you ladies want any?" Xelloss asked, taking a bite out of the (apparently) apple pie they had made. The three girls stood, wide-eyed, shaking their heads no. It was so odd... The table was set correctly, the pie in the center of the table, coffee brewed, and even a can of undestroyed whipped cream was out. Had they gone mad overnight?  
  
The sorceresses left the room and entered the kitchen to try and figure out what was going on. They discovered *weird* things lying around that weren't out the previous night, and didn't belong in coffee or apple pie.  
  
The White Serpent bent down and dipped her finger in a pile of black powder on the ground, then screeched, "It's pepper! Pepper! Why is pepper all over the ground?!" Lina and Amelia backed up in shock. "EEW!" The both yelled at the same time. It was then the girls looked to observe their surroundings more closely.  
  
They found scary things like banana peels, cocoa butter, the insides of clams, slivers of chili peppers, and pieces of cloth covered in chocolate... (Hmm, that's a little more than scary...) The Serpent, princess, and sorceress bolted from the room screaming, and ran back into the dining area. "WHAT ALL DID YOU PUT INTO THAT STUPID PIE YOU THREE MADE?!" Lina demanded. Gourry looked up, as though in thought, but when he didn't reply ten minutes later, it was assumed he was spacing out as usual. So, in turn, Zelgadiss replied, "We followed the instructions, of course."  
  
Amelia's eyebrows furrowed together in confusion, "What instructions? We don't have a--" He voice was cut off by Xelloss holding up a little book called 'Pie Recipes'.  
  
The three females scanned through the book for awhile, unable to find anything that even resembled human/mazoku/chimera food, much less apple pie. Finally they reached the last several pages and there were some badly, and obviously false inserted ones entitled, 'Witch Apple Pie'. The recipe did indeed call for all of the odd things they had found in the kitchen, and scarily enough, no apples. Lina, Amelia, and Nahga looked up, thoroughly disturbed at this point. "This..."--Lina pointed to the recipe-- "Is this what you made?" She asked.  
  
The guys nodded, looks of pride upon their faces, and the girls stepped back, exchanging sickened glances. "Th-this is the recipe for... A poisonous pie that kills ordinary people..." Nahga stated, holding her hand against her mouth so she wouldn't regurgitate anything. Gourry smiled. "That's okay! We're not ordinary people!" He argued.  
  
The females were about to be ill. "You're right... you're just freaks..." Amelia muttered, heaving in some fresh air. It was then that the princess noticed something even scarier. "Are you three eating whipped cream on your pies?"  
  
The men once again nodded in agreement, causing Lina and Nahga to scream, realizing why Amelia had asked. "NO YOU'RE NOT!" Lina yelled, her face turning an odd shade of green. Nahga picked up the can on the table in which they had been using as whipped cream. "This is my shaving cream... Melon-scented..."  
  
The guys all fell ill for the next two weeks, and the girls never let them live it up... Then again, nor did they let them cook again.  
  
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Author's Corner!!  
  
Shi-chan: Did you guys like? Do you want me to continue? THEN GIVE ME FEEDBACK AND SUGGESTIONS!!!!!! :-)  
  
Zelgadiss: Please... no... That was so wrong...  
  
Shi-chan: Well, of course, it'll happen differently if I continue, and it'll be different food.  
  
Gourry: Someone say food?!  
  
Shi-chan: Oh, uh, yeah... *hands him Nahga's shaving cream* It's Cool Whip!  
  
Gourry: *hasn't learned his lesson, thus him eating it without making sure first*  
  
Shi-chan and Zelgadiss: Sick... 


End file.
